Delicatessen

I was just at the deli with Lizzie in the cart, (the boys are at school,) and the deli guy looks at Lizzie and launches into "Ni hao!" and something else that he explains means "Aren't you pretty and what is your name?" in Mandarin. He tells me that he thinks babies must be comforted by hearing the language they first heard in the orphanage. This would have all been vaguely offensive if it hadn't been hilarious.

Stephen to his teacher at the start of his violin lesson

"Sit down, have a drink, and enjoy the concert."

Stephen's Bathtime

[Stephen splashes water at Mimi]
Stephen: Mommy, did you know I was going to do that?
Mimi: Yes, I know everything!
Stephen: But you don't know about moderation!

Mimi to Leonard (+ Arthur's reply)

Mimi: You're an idiot!
Arthur: He's not an Indian!

Another auto insurance claim

A very large tree blew down from across the street, crashing through a fence and uprooting the sidewalk and chunks of the neighbor's lawn. The Saturn was out front and got a faceful of branches. Hard to tell the damage in the dark, but at the very least, several large scratches. Arthur is up at midnight watching the men with chain saws, the log lifter, etc.

The first thing I did after the tree was cleared was empty the dishwasher, and I broke a plate.

The Moral of Harry the Dirty Dog

Per Arthur, in a school assignment:
if you don't think it's your dog, try washing it.

Mimi to Leonard

If you get fired, I totally won't be able to get an iPad.